


One Last Day

by kiyala



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Angst, Confessions, M/M, Post-Link Joker, Pre-Legion Mate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 11:04:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6702181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Quatre Knights have been selected and Aichi's plans have been set into motion. He's seen everyone he cares about for one last time before he leaves, but Aichi saves Kai until last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Last Day

There's a bitter wind that blows its way through the city, between buildings and through the streets. It carries the chill of winter to it, the kind that cuts through jackets and scarves, no matter how thick. Aichi doesn't mind the cold. It doesn't carry the same bite to it that he's been accustomed to lately. No matter how harsh the winter, it's nothing compared to how the world felt with Link Joker gradually taking hold of it. Now, it feels like the sun shines just that little bit brighter, and the world is filled with more joy, more people smiling, more people connecting with each other, through Vanguard and otherwise.

It's a world that he wants to protect, Aichi thinks, holding his hand to his chest. A world that he is going protect. No matter what he has to sacrifice in order to do it. Everything has already been set in motion; his Quatre Knights have been selected, his plan is set in stone. It's going to be a full moon tonight. Aichi looks up at the sky, his lips curving into an unhappy smile. It's as good a time as any to leave. 

Everything is ready. Everything but Aichi. 

His feet carry him to Card Capital, but that's not even a surprise at this point. This isn't his destination, though, and he can feel it in his bones, settling there like a truth that he knows not to question. Miwa looks up and smiles at Aichi as he walks in. The smile changes, turning into a knowing look when Aichi glances to Miwa's side, feeling the disappointment curl in his chest when he doesn't see Kai.

"If you're looking for him," Miwa says, walking across the shop and stopping in front of Aichi. "He's not here. He's probably at home. He hasn't been around at card shops all that much lately."

"Is it because…" Aichi begins, but trails off, looking away. He doesn't know if he has the right to pry into how Kai is feeling, and if the burden of guilt for what he's done still weighs down on him. Even if he does, he feels like it's not something he should be bringing up to someone else. When he looks up, Miwa is looking at him with a patient smile, giving him all the time he needs to get his thoughts into order, to pick the question he wants to ask. "Is he okay?" 

Miwa doesn't reply immediately, except to sigh and shrug, but even that feels like something of an answer. At length, he says, "You could ask him yourself."

Aichi leaves Card Capital with Kai's address written down on a scrap of paper and the map open on his phone. He feels something settling in his chest as he follows the streets marked out for him on the map, like this is where he is meant to be going. 

Perhaps, Aichi thinks, this is where he was always heading. He has silently farewelled everyone else in his life. He's left Kai to the very end, because something so simple as a _goodbye_ doesn't even begin to encompass what he feels. Leaving his friends and family is a painful thought in itself. Leaving Kai is different. 

Leaving Kai makes Aichi feel like he's leaving part of himself behind, and he wishes, not for the first time, that he could ask Kai to be one of his Quatre Knights, but he knows that it wouldn't change anything. It won't change the fact that Aichi will seal himself away as he's planned. All it means is that Kai will have to be there, that he would have to witness it happening. Aichi is determined to save Kai from that fate, no matter what the cost—even if that cost happens to be Kai's memories of him. It won't matter, in the end. Being forgotten will be better than being missed. Aichi can be at peace, knowing that he's the only one hurting. He'll take all the pain in the world, if it means that nobody else has to. Especially Kai.

The block of apartments that Kai lives in is tall, and Aichi smiles politely at the man behind the reception desk on his way past. Kai lives on one of the top floors, and the elevator ride is silent on the way up. The hallway is long and narrow, lined with identical doors on either side. Aichi follows the numbers until he finds Kai's door.

He stops there, standing in front of it for a moment with his hands balled into fists at his sides, not quite ready to knock. He doesn't know what to say to Kai—he doesn't even know what he will _want_ to say to Kai. He takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. The only thing he can do now is to take things as they come, and trust in himself to do the right thing. 

Miwa could have warned Kai in advance that Aichi was on his way. Kai could be waiting for him, or could be entirely unprepared, and Aichi isn't sure which he would prefer. He doesn't even know if Kai would welcome him now, or if he would rather be alone, to dwell on his thoughts on his own. Aichi hopes that he won't be turned away. No matter what Kai is feeling, Aichi is sure that he can do something. Perhaps helping Kai deal with his guilt can be the last good thing he does before leaving. Perhaps it won't be something that Kai can solve in a day, but if Aichi can put him on the path towards it, that might just feel like enough. 

He raises his fist and knocks twice before pulling his hand away, holding his breath as he waits. He straightens up a little when the door is unlocked with a soft click, and then pulled open.

Kai blinks at him, clearly surprised. "Aichi."

"Kai." Aichi smiles at him. There's absolutely no reason for Aichi to be nervous. Right now, he's spending time with the one person he wants to be with the most. He doesn't need to overthink anything. 

Especially not the fact that this will be the last time they see each other.

"Come in," Kai says, holding the door open a little wider. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Miwa said that I would find you here," Aichi tells him, toeing out of his shoes and leaving them by the doorway. 

"You were looking for me." Kai's voice is soft, even if his expression remains as guarded as ever.

"Is that such a surprise?"

Kai's lounge room is small, but comfortable enough. Aichi takes a seat at the low table when Kai gestures to it. Kai goes to the kitchen, starting the kettle before sitting down across from Aichi. They watch each other silently before Kai answers. Aichi can never hold his gaze for long, because it always feels a little too piercing, but now, even that feels a little softer. 

"Maybe not," Kai answers, at length. "I'm glad that Miwa told you where to find me."

Aichi smiles. This feels like progress, at least. Kai is still holding himself stiffly, still a little closed off, but Aichi isn't expecting any different. 

The kettle finishes boiling water with a loud click and Kai excuses himself, retreating to the kitchen to make tea for them both. Aichi glances around Kai's apartment, finding it minimally decorated. It's the first time Aichi has been here, and it's the first time he and Kai have really spent any time together alone like this at all. There are too many firsts packed into what is going to be their _last_ time seeing each other, and the thought of it is enough to make Aichi's chest ache with longing. He wishes he had more time, he wishes he had another solution, he wishes that he could see Kai again. 

"Is something wrong?" Kai asks, startling Aichi out of his thoughts. Kai is sitting across from him with a small, concerned frown. There are two mugs on the table, and Aichi picks up the one closest to him, cradling it in his hands for the warmth. Kai shifts a little restlessly, frowning when he doesn't get an answer. "Aichi." 

There are so many things Aichi wants to say, but he doesn't know where to begin. He takes a breath, looking down at his tea. 

"I wanted to know how you were doing," he says, lifting his head to meet Kai's gaze. "After everything."

"Everything," Kai repeats slowly, taking a sip of his tea and putting his mug back down on the table. "You mean, all the terrible things that I've done. The pain I've caused."

"It's been undone now," Aichi replies. Or, at the very least, he will see to it that it will be. "You're not hurting anyone now." 

"It doesn't change what I've done. The guilt is still there."

"You're forgiven," Aichi tells him. "By me. By all of us."

"I don't deserve to be," Kai mutters. "Especially not by you." 

This feels like old territory. They covered this when they fought before, in the last moments that the dark rings of Link Joker remained in the world. Kai isn't going to leave and at that time, on the rooftop of the Tatsunagi building, Aichi thought that it was enough.

 _I can't afford to lose you_ , Aichi had said at the time, but he hadn't known that it was already too late, then. He hadn't expected Link Joker to be quite as devastating as it is, to continue destroying things even after being defeated. Kai doesn't need to know that, though. After today, Kai is going to forget everything, and he's never going to know about the seed in Aichi's chest. He doesn't need to know; he doesn't need any more guilt. Aichi doesn't know how much he can fix in a single day, but he doesn't want to leave Kai with this weight on his shoulders. 

He reaches across the table, his fingers brushing across Kai's wrist. He doesn't expect Kai to freeze up, to glance down at their hands, his brows drawing together. Aichi pulls his hand back, but Kai catches it, curling his fingers around it gently. He lets go slowly, and Aichi keeps his hand where it is, letting it sit on the table with his palm facing up. Kai exhales softly, and presses his palm to Aichi's.

"You held my wrist," Kai speaks up, looking up at Aichi. "After we fought. When you pulled me along to join everyone else."

"I'm sorry," Aichi says, dropping his gaze. "I just…"

"Aichi," Kai interrupts softly. "I don't think you understand. I'm not saying it was a bad thing. It's just that I haven't stopped thinking about it since it happened."

With a soft smile, Aichi lifts his hand, his fingers curling around Kai's. This is what he came here for, after all. No matter the excuses that he makes to himself, about Kai's guilt, about this being his chance to say goodbye, he knows that there is an underlying reason that brought him here, of all places. 

When tomorrow comes, Kai won't remember him but for today, Aichi wants to express his feelings, in whatever way he can. He doesn't know what will hurt less: having this for a day before losing it, or not having it at all, but he knows he won't be able to bear the regret of not acting. 

He didn't know how he would say it, or what words he would use, but with his hand holding Kai's, he thinks that perhaps he doesn't need to speak at all. Kai's hand is bigger than his, warm, his long fingers tightening their grip, squeezing Aichi's hand as if he's afraid this isn't real. Or perhaps, as if he's afraid of losing this if he doesn't hold on tight enough. Aichi pushes that thought to the back of his mind, along with the guilt that comes with it, and squeezes back. 

It's Kai who breaks the silence. He takes a deep breath, tightening his grip a little further. "Aichi."

"I told you back then, when we were on the roof," Aichi tells him. "You mean a lot to me, Kai. You're precious to me."

Perhaps this _does_ need words, Aichi thinks. It's worth it for the way Kai's expression softens, his lips curving into a gentle smile.

"You're just as important to me," Kai murmurs, and Aichi replies with a smile that he has no hope of holding back, stroking his thumb along the warm skin of Kai's hand.

They watch each other for a moment, holding hands across the table, before Kai lets go so that he can come around the table. Aichi turns as Kai sits beside him, so that they're facing each other, and they've been this close before, surely, but their proximity has never felt quite this pronounced.

Kai reaches out to touch Aichi, slow and hesitant. It takes everything Aichi has to not lean forward, to keep himself from rushing things when Kai is being so cautious, like they have all the time in the world. After all, Aichi is the only one who knows that they don't.

Their fingertips meet, then their palms, and holding hands feels easy now that it's no longer their first time. They have more first times to burn their way through and Aichi is breathless with anticipation, feeling it catch in his throat as Kai's hand lets go of his, in favour of stroking through his hair, so gentle that Aichi feels his eyes slip shut with a soft sigh. 

"Aichi." Kai's voice is hushed, and he trails his fingers down from Aichi's hair, over the back of his neck. Aichi shivers pleasantly, blinking his eyes open so he can smile at Kai. With a soft hum, Kai bites his lower lip, his intent clear, even if he can't quite put it into words. 

It doesn't matter, though. Aichi is more than happy to help him in that regard. It's easier to curl his fingers in Kai's jacket and pull him closer when he knows that this is what Kai wants. He tilts his face up, and Kai's fingers go into Aichi's hair again, holding him as their lips meet. It's brief, their lips warm against each other, but it's only their first. Aichi hopes that by the time he leaves, they will have lost count entirely.

Luckily, Kai seems just as eager for more. He winds his arms around Aichi's waist, kissing him again. Kai doesn't stop, as if his emotions have been restrained all this time and now that there's nothing holding them back, there's nothing stopping them all from coming out at once.

"Aichi, Aichi," he says, like it's the only word he knows, as he kisses all over Aichi's face.

If Kai's gaze makes Aichi feel like he's being pinned down, being in his arms like this, being the centre of all of Kai's affection makes Aichi feel like he's going to burn up entirely. He welcomes it, though, holding onto Kai just a little bit tighter, shutting his eyes with a smile as he feels Kai's lips on his forehead again. 

"We should have done this a long time ago," Kai murmurs, and Aichi's smile grows strained, knowing that Kai can't see it.

"You're right, we should have," he agrees. Perhaps that way, they would have had more time. Perhaps then, Aichi wouldn't feel like he needs to soak up every single second of the time they have, because he knows that they'll never have it again. He wants to commit everything to memory, worried that he'll forget, worried that it will all fade away over time, like the warmth of Kai's body against his. He clings a little more, burying his face in the warm curve of Kai's neck, breathing him in.

"Kai, I…" _love you_ , Aichi thinks, the words getting stuck in his throat. He could say them now, only to have Kai forget them tonight, and that, more than anything, is a thought that he can't bear. Perhaps Kai already knows, from the way he smiles softly, the way he strokes the back of his fingers over Aichi's cheek, but these are words that Aichi doesn't want to lose to Link Joker, the way he's losing everything else. He clears his throat and offers Kai a feeble smile. "…I brought my deck with me."

Kai's smile grows wider, and Aichi isn't at all surprised by that.

It turns out that playing Vanguard with Kai can feel just as intimate as being in each other's arms. Aichi isn't surprised by that, either.

Aichi wins the first game, Kai wins the second, and they don't get to their third because as fun as Vanguard is, kissing is newer, and they're both still curious. They move to the couch, their cards still sitting on the table. The couch cushions yield to their weight, pushing them closer together, and it's easier to wrap themselves around each other like this, easier for Kai to pull Aichi into his lap like he doesn't even weigh a thing.

Kai's hands are gentle on Aichi's sides, warm through his clothes. He's hesitant, like he's not sure what he's allowed, and it makes Aichi smile, covering Kai's hands with his own. He guides them under his shirt, sucking in a shaky breath as Kai strokes a hand over the bare skin of Aichi's back.

"You're warm," Kai murmurs, and Aichi laughs breathlessly, pressing himself closer, straddling Kai properly on the couch. Kai's breath comes stuttering out of him, his hands going to Aichi's hips to hold him still. "Aichi—"

"Please," Aichi breathes against Kai's lips, but Kai's grip grows tighter, holding Aichi back.

"I don't want to rush into anything," Kai says softly, leaning in to press a brief kiss to Aichi's lips. "We can take this slowly. We have time."

 _No we don't_ , Aichi thinks with frustration, but he can't put that into words. Instead, he just rests his forehead against Kai's with a sigh. "Okay."

"I'm sorry—" Kai begins, but Aichi kisses him, cupping Kai's face in both hands.

"You don't have to apologise. It's fine." Aichi kisses him again. "This is just as good."

Kai smiles warmly—Aichi has never seen him smile this much before, and it's a nice sight. He traces his thumb over the curve of Kai's lips, committing it to memory, and then leans in to kiss it for good measure. Kai hums happily, wrapping his arms around Aichi's shoulders and keeping him where he is. 

"How long can you stay?" Kai murmurs, and Aichi pulls back, already filling with guilt before he can register the fact that Kai is just talking about today. Some of it must show on his face, because Kai frowns lightly. "Aichi?"

"All day," Aichi says, nuzzling against Kai's neck. Perhaps he should see his other friends one last time as well, but he knows that there's nowhere he'd rather be than right here. "I don't have any other plans."

Kai hums quietly in reply, resting his chin on top of Aichi's head. "Good. I don't particularly want to let go of you any time soon."

"You just want to stay right here?" Aichi asks, smiling to himself. He never thought he would have the chance to cuddle with Kai like this, and especially not at Kai's request, but he loves it.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Kai murmurs, and Aichi laughs softly, pressing himself just a little bit closer.

"Not at all. I'm definitely not complaining about it." If anything, Aichi just wishes that he could have the opportunity to grow used to this, to the feeling of being in Kai's arms, to the fact that while Kai might not be particularly good at putting things into words, he can still express his feelings clearly like this.

There's so much that Aichi wishes he could do, so much he's going to miss, but there's no point in dwelling on that now when he'll have plenty of time to do so later. Right now, all he wants to do is enjoy the moment.

Aichi settles more comfortably against Kai, head resting on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. With a soft sigh, Kai rests one hand on Aichi's shoulder and with the other, he links their fingers together, his grip firm. It's quiet, sitting on the couch with Kai and just enjoying each other's presence, but Aichi has never expected it to be any different.

They pull apart as the afternoon wears on and they're both hungry. Kai doesn't let go of Aichi's hand, pulling him into the kitchen so that he can help make lunch. Kai leads the way through the preparation, and Aichi spends more time admiring than actually helping, but Kai doesn't seem to mind that at all. 

"You're so good at cooking," Aichi murmurs with awe as he puts their cards aside and sets the table, the apartment filled with the delicious smell of Kai's cooking. "You're good at everything."

"That's not even close to being true," Kai replies, shaking his head. He presses a kiss to Aichi's forehead. "But I'm still pleased that you think so."

Aichi smiles, leaning into Kai's touch for a brief moment before he pulls back so that they can sit down. Lunch is just as unhurried as everything else, and as Aichi cleans up afterwards, Kai sets out their cards again with an eager look. Laughing fondly, Aichi sits down again, happy to play as many times as Kai wants, not even the slightest bit surprised that they end up playing so many rounds that the sun is beginning to set by the time that they finally stop.

"I should let you go home," Kai says with a rueful smile. "I've kept you for long enough."

"I don't mind," Aichi replies, shaking his head. "I can stay."

"There's always tomorrow." Kai leans in, giving Aichi a gentle kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Kai…" Aichi begins, but he trails off, not knowing what else to say. 

"I'm glad you came here today," Kai tells him, and this _can't_ be the end, but it's closing in on Aichi whether he likes it or not, and Kai doesn't even realise that he's bringing them to it sooner than needed. His smile is so warm and Aichi's chest is already aching, Aichi already misses him and they haven't even parted ways yet. 

Aichi hides it as he packs his cards away, as Kai walks him to the door. When they kiss, Aichi holds on a little tighter, and for a little longer, but Kai doesn't mind that at all. He just gives Aichi one more brief parting kiss, and promises that they'll see each other tomorrow. He doesn't even notice when Aichi doesn't respond to it.

It's not until Aichi has made it all the way out onto the street that it all catches up with him. His shoulders are shaking with it by the time he walks to the end of the block, his hands trembling. 

Kourin is waiting for him at the next set of lights, standing there with her arms folded across her chest as the streetlights flicker on. Her eyes are full of sympathy as she watches him, and Aichi does his best to offer her a smile as they fall into step with each other. 

"Did you see Misaki?" he asks her, before she can ask about Kai.

"I did," Kourin nods slowly. "But I don't think she saw me. I'm not entirely sure that I'm here, even with your magic."

"Not my magic," Aichi says, resting a hand on his chest. Everything he has done has been because the Link Joker seed in his chest has allowed him to. It doesn't seem to have realised that he's using its own power to make sure it's sealed away. 

"A part of you, whether you like it or not," Kourin says with a sad smile. "You went to Kai Toshiki."

"I love him," Aichi says, and wishes it was this easy to say it to Kai's face. He smiles bitterly, averting his gaze from Kourin, looking up at the sky instead. "I love everyone. I love this world, and I want to protect it with everything that I have. But _I love him_."

She places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently without saying a word. He supposes that there aren't any words to be said. 

"Are you ready?" she asks him at length, and Aichi can only smile and shake his head.

"I'm not, but I don't think I'll ever be. But that's okay."

Kourin nods in understanding, and they both stop at the next light, standing on the edge of the street as they watch night fall around them one last time. If Kourin notices the tears in Aichi's eyes, she's kind enough not to mention them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kai waits until they're home. Aichi is waiting for it, but that doesn't change the way his heart pounds when he feels Kai's hand on his shoulder one afternoon when they're at Card Capital, with a quiet request to talk. 

They nod at their friends on their way out, walking down the street together. The afternoon sun stretches their shadows across the pavement in front of them, and Aichi recognises this route, from what feels like an eternity ago. They're walking to Kai's apartment.

Aichi waits for Kai to break the silence, expecting it to last until they get to his building. Instead, Kai takes a deep breath when they're still two streets away, hesitating for a moment before he speaks.

"I was meant to forget you," he says, looking at the street ahead of them. "If everything went according to plan. I wouldn't have remembered you. Life would have gone on. Without you."

Aichi nods, looking at Kai as he replies, "Yes." 

"So—why?" Kai asks. "If I was meant to forget you, why didn't I?"

"I don't know," Aichi admits. He's thought about it a lot, and he's come up with his own theories, but it's nothing that he's willing to give voice to when it's just speculation. "The spell should have worked as intended. It didn't and… I'm glad things happened the way they did. I'm glad that you found another way to keep us safe from Link Joker."

"I think," Kai says slowly, "that it didn't work the way you intended because I didn't want to forget you. Your magic was strong, if it could erase you from everyone else's life, if it could build a palace on the moon for you to seal yourself away. My feelings for you are stronger."

Aichi blinks with surprise. He thought that perhaps he subconsciously held back, not wanting Kai to forget him. He never would have dared to assume the depth of Kai's feelings, but it's plain to see on his face now, it's obvious enough when Kai has burned in the flames of judgement so many times and still dragged himself forward, all to bring Aichi back.

"The last time you came here," Kai says, as they reach his building, "was the day before you disappeared. I've thought about that a lot too. You came here to say goodbye."

"I did," Aichi nods, as they walk to the elevator.

"I was meant to forget the fact that you told me your feelings for me," Kai frowns. "I was meant to go on not knowing you were ever in my life, while you were alone with the knowledge that what we had only lasted for a day—no, not even that long. Hours."

"I'm sorry," Aichi murmurs. "I was being selfish and—"

"Aichi," Kai interrupts, grabbing him by the wrist, turning him around so that they're looking at each other. "You were going to seal yourself away, indefinitely, to keep the rest of us safe. You were doing the very opposite of being selfish." 

Aichi shakes his head. "I was being selfish when it came to you. I shouldn't have said anything. If I hadn't, you wouldn't have been left here knowing what we could have, while I disappeared." 

"I don't mind," Kai tells him, pulling Aichi closer and resting their foreheads against each other. "Be selfish, when it comes to me. You don't have to feel guilty about it. You're forgiven."

"But I don't deserve—"

The elevator pings at Kai's floor and he pulls back with a fond smile, stroking his fingers through Aichi's hair. "We've had this conversation before, in reverse." 

Aichi's eyes go wide. "Oh."

Kai unlocks his door, guiding Aichi inside with a hand on the small of his back. It lingers there even when they're inside with the door shut behind them. Slowly turning Aichi around, Kai holds his sides and smiles at him. 

"I'm glad that you're home. I'm glad that you're safe."

When Kai pulls him close, Aichi doesn't resist. He wraps his arms around Kai tightly and stays there. He takes a deep breath, relaxing a little at Kai's comfortingly familiar scent. This feels like where he belongs. Kai presses a kiss into Aichi's hair, then pulls back so that they can kiss properly. Aichi lifts himself up onto his toes, wrapping his arms around Kai's shoulders, kissing him firmly.

"I love you," Aichi says against Kai's lips, because there's nothing holding him back this time. 

He feels the way Kai's lips spread into a smile against his, and it makes him smile too.

"And I love you," Kai replies, his thumb stroking across Aichi's cheek. "I love you so much that no amount of magic in the world could make me forget you."

They kiss again, harder this time, and they're still standing by the door, but Aichi doesn't mind that at all. Not with Kai's fingers stroking through his hair, their lips warm against each other. Kai kisses like he never wants to let go of Aichi, like he's determined to make up for every moment that they were apart. Aichi returns every kiss with the same intent, until they're both breathless, panting softly, their lips bruised.

"Stay here," Kai murmurs, his voice husky. "For dinner. For the night. I don't mind how long, but stay."

"I will," Aichi replies, smiling. "I'll stay for as long as you'll have me."

"That might be a while," Kai warns, as he takes Aichi's hand.

Squeezing Kai's hand, Aichi smiles even wider. "I'll be here."


End file.
